Elevator Pitch No.2
https://youtu.be/8r_0EU3cssk
The feedback that I received on my last elevator pitch questioned whether my product was unique. I was glad to get this feedback because it made me realize that I never did point out why my service was unique. After this feedback, I decided to add in a sentence to my pitch that described the unique way my service would provide dermatological consultation along with access to a database of information o skincare ingredients. This was the only feedback I received, but I also did my best to correct some of the things I had feedback on for myself, like the sound quality. My phone's camera does not record audio well, and the original video had very spotty audio. I fixed this by using headphones with an attached microphone, which greatly enhanced the quality of the audio. I think the lighting and visual quality of the video are better too.
The video and sound quality is fantastic! You did a great job with the changes you made and they were incredibly noticeable. I still haven’t quite figured this out for myself. You spoke very clearly and with great energy and enthusiasm for your topic. For the sake of adding some constructive criticism, (personally I don’t have a problem with this) I would omit or perhaps reword the statement at time :54 through time :57, which is “having a good skin care routine isn’t just about looking young and beautiful forever, though that is a pretty popular side effect.” The reason I mention this is because the word choice (perhaps this is due to my frame of reference bias) makes the pitch seem as though it was intended for just women who are within the interest group of those concerns. It conflicts with the outreach to a much more expansive general population that I think you’re trying to influence based on the statement you made at time :37, “skincare tends to get overlooked by the average American.” To get a good idea of what I’m talking about, consider this… would you have said the same thing to a sun spotted 55 year old man who has been running a lawn service his entire working life? I would argue that he is pretty average, as lawn service workers are very common, and I would also argue that he is someone that fits the description of perhaps being uninformed due to limited accessibility to skincare advice/products, but could this Budweiser drinking old man be reached and convinced with words like “young and beautiful forever”? Again, this is just a suggestion, I received your message just fine and thought you did a great job.
ReplyDeleteHi Haven!
ReplyDeleteI liked your elevator pitch a lot, especially the "Let's get vulnerable" at the beginning. You seemed to know what you were talking about, and I felt confident in what you were saying. I also liked how you emphasized the need for your product; how skincare is not as important as it should be, and that you would be there to fulfill that hole. You expressed the way your product worked in a concise and informative way, and I had no trouble understanding what you said. My one suggestion would be to maintain eye contact, as you were often looking upwards. Great job!
Hey Haven, good job on the elevator pitch. The hook was effective at getting my attention, and the pitch was done in a way that maintains that initial attention while getting your message across. I think you make a good case for anyone who might otherwise not be interested in skincare products by mentioning conditions that can be prevented by it. Including prices and specifics about the solution helped to create an image of what you are selling. The only advice I could think to give would be about eye contact but that's already been mentioned by others.
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